I have always thought of writing a blog more professionally more maturely but i believe i cant . i want it to be raw want to write what i think and not what people want to read...
Today i want to fly, I want to be free and be alone , travel across the world alone not in luxurious hotels and flights but want to see the world it really is. want to travel across India, staying in small villages trying to find the answer of life. want to know how people think about life. how religions look at it. and whats the meaning of life.

I wish i do this one day.

I can see death, I can see it standing and waiting for me all dressed in .. sometimes in black and sometime in white. i can see her smiling at me and calling me to her. I can feel myself crawling towards it. Feeling that the end is not far.... Some how feel all the good times are past and have lived every moment of it....

Past is so different then present and future. Past is gone its over , present is reality and future is a dream.You can just remember past and realize that you dont even know where people are who were with you in past. you realize you dont even have failed to sustain relations which were important, you have failed to understand changing ways of life...

But you don't try to go back and mend ways, because there are no mending ways. Past is over and present is your life. you just try to make sure what went wrong in past dont go wrong in present.
You just wish everyone who was part of your past, remains happy, satisifed and content with their present and you try to do that with your own. You just wish that relations you have right now become better in future.

In life there are permanent friends if not permanent enemies. There are people who will always think good for you , will want you to be happy, even if they dont talk to you, even if they are no more part of your life, you just think and pray same for them.

Because life is a long journey with falls and climbs.....

Want to know Who am I ?...

/..

I am the spiderman......

if you suspect phishing, use a wrong password, if the page says " you are trying a wrong password" its a correct site.

How many times I will write about life and how many times will i say Life sucks, Its so obvious that my entire blog says that life is bad and its the worst thing that can happen to someone , this evident from all the posts. It might look that i am a pessimist and I dont have anything in life that makes me happy.

If you dont have anything worth dying you are just wasting your time.
If you dont have anyone worth dying then also you are just wasting your life.

i have stopped making sense out of my blog may be i am confused getting more and more confused, may be I dont know what i want out of life. or maybe when i am getting what i was trying to get i find it not worth working for.

Life is hard when you don't have anybody with you, when there is nobody to stand with you , when you need someone, But this the fking truth of life that you are alone that you have nobody to stand by you when you need someone , everyone sees there own life. Nobody cares about anybody else, life may look beautiful but it isnt. its bad it hurts it pains and its ugly thats the truth which most of us don't want to understand. and don't want to believe because truth is ugly and it hurts.

If you think you have someone to stand by you in the time you need them, you are wrong this world is a big jungle where no one believe no one ,where no one trusts no one believes you no one is yours , this is survival of the fittest, you sit all alone in night and cry you don't have a shoulder to cry, you don't have a hand to hold, you don't have anyone to hug, you are alone with your life. your fucking damn life