Just read one of my schoolmates got a job with HeroHonda the Motorbike giant.Reading that realy had a awakening effect on me...... Am I jealous May be but I am really happy for him. He deserved it.But the question I am not able to answer is where am I headed. A life which I have spoiled myself.
I still remember the words of the same friend He said one day " Agar mere pass tere jaisa dimag hota to mein duniya palat deta" My dear friends you have betterd your words and I had let myself down.

Flashback
you know what I want to be an engineer and when ever I dream of becoming an engineer I see only one destination big ones IIT "The Temples of Technology". Am I trying I think I ammay be not 100%. May be I sparingly believe my Physics teacher when he speaks "Anurag, you can do it" But wait this has not worked out I am out in prelims...


I failed in the prelims. May be this will work out I join the coaching classes for CET and first thing I am asked by my lecturer is "when is your mains IIT exam".
" Sir I didnt clear the prelims" :::::" you should have".
(and now I think was he joking that day? but he always told me the same words when i enquired again)

I have started fighting out the odds in my life and started to believe I will definetely crack the REC enterance.
Gave the exam and I am sure this is the big one. I have done it!!!!!
will surely cross the 200 mark, in the paper and that will fetch me any NIT in the country. but where i finaly land>
standing in front of a computer terminal in a university of North India the great Punjab Technical University............
and what i decide A Govt college in the heart of rural punjab Hundreds of Km from an good industrialy and technically developed town, a place where going to Canada is the biggest and most common dream and join

Btech In a subject i had heard only in News or Movies, Information Technology ... Coming from a place where Mechanical, Electrical and Civil engineering were the soul of the living....

I join INFO TECH..
.and there start the Bear walk.

These are strange subjects i cant visualize these


LATER i found out indeed I did take a coward decision, I was not brave enough to fight out for one more year.. I didnt have the guts to take bull from the horns,,I found an easy way out but there are no easy or shorter paths in life....I have no doubt and no excuses when I say or rather to accept that I made a mistake I was a coward...
But what after that would not like to write down much about my engineering my first year was a disaster, but when i started to believe in what i was doing i started hitting out.. and had my small share of success..
and got a job also in the sector i wanted to work, but nobody likes to work for peanuts 80$ a month was that I was worth for, was that what i added to my company,

I always knew i wanted to study furthur, and decided according to my situation, inded do agree dad had a great infulence on the decision, i decided to dare to dream again...THE IIMS " The undoubted Mosque of Management" (Why mosque? management is as good as a religion change for me). But wait this was interesting i want to do this .. mangement also hase some logic its not much differnt from engineering,this interests me...a lot of logic some thinking and above all no limiting laws so is this the grand dad of engineering whith lesser laws,,,
Come on I need to make this IIMS are for me,, I will( the can changed to will) do it....
Left my job for a bigger cause....MBA

There is a magic in risking all you have for a dream which no one believes but you

and i believe i will do this ...
The mentors in CL reassured me you will do it...
and here I go solving all the material I have,
Doing the Take Offs and the FLTs....
took some time to stablize started to get some unbelievable scores in the FLT...
thought this was it. will do it this time...


But wait "20 Nov 2006" here go my dreams in a trash can .....
they are over getting a score of 30 in DI in mocks was easy but getting 1/5 of that in real CAT no not my cup of tea....but this was not the end, heard somewhere
"battle is not lost until the last bullet is fired"

May be I can win a battle even i lost a war.. but I never studied after CAT ..
got a good score of 118 in SNAP call from NMIMS....

Still found courage to stand against the odds this time in my mind started preparing for the final round ....gave a number of mock interviews even to greatest in the business...

But here I stand fallen,dead,down,lost,a victim of own dreams,A person who once had courage to believe in a dream which people started believing with him,
may be again not having courage to face the odds in my life, may be again taking the easy way, the shortest path,and joining another institute where again I am going to learn something which was alien to me one day Information Technology,but this time odds have changed i know my enemy better, I know what i am going to fight out, I think i do.....

May be If I am asked what I want to do right now i will say want to go for S$CIT, I do like networks its a decent college...

But still there is somewhere a better person, an optimist there in my heart burried under deap shit of failures who some time still whispers and makes me believe I can go for another chance....Go for the Bulls eye the IIMs..........