So the number of posts are increasing... so are complications in my life,But this is life and I still believe that solutions to your problem are not around the world where you need to search it they are down there within you ,you just need to find out them.
I am now in a dilemma for was what i believed wrong or it is right and I am not strong enough to implement.
I know I dont have an option I like it or not I will have to live with it.
I need to believe there are some questions which dont have solutions and some problems which have solutions that are not of your liking.

I never liked the idea that I am not in control of my life. I always liked to control whatever i think, I decided what ever I thought.
Istill try to do it.
but let me make it clear this is getting dirty I know it....

if you cant live with it You will die with it so better start living...........


LIfE SUCKS I SWEAR.......................................

So now what ?
Do I really have something to write or just bugging around....
" You like it or there are times when you really dont have an option and you need to accept what life pushes at you"
When you try to find a solution you are just adding problems....
Because it was you who created the problem..
There are times that you are actually working on something which is not going to give you returns, You are really trying to run on a road which is round.........
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the worst thing to have happened to me, I know that .. does not actually care what I think and feel like may be .. does not have an option but is it my fault,,, I never thought of the consequences and did it..... Now why get angry, now why cry will it make any differnece why do you do this ,,, why cry , why think of her,why cant you forget her, why why why ..............You worst fears are coming true.. the thing your friend warned you of is happening but still you dont want to change it.....

Come on you do need to believe the facts.. stop interpreting them in your way...
the reality is you are as alone as you could be...
Its not just feeling but its true that you are standing on the edge of a cliff
..waiting that you may fall........
..thinking of jumping...........
.. Or waiting that .. will push you...

and you will not be disappointed.. you are going down you are falling cant you feel the weightlessnes or you really dont want to face..
You know it down in the bottom of your heart you cant take it any more...
But still you want to see how dirty can thisget...

You still want to see your tipping point.....

This is I have been thinking for sometime:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...

You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

source: http://en.thinkexist.com/quotation/have-you-ever-been-in-love-horrible-isn-t-it-it/347156.html